Content warning: Pregnancy Loss
A friend recently opened a discussion on the topic “courage over comfort” in a sobriety support meeting, and reflecting on that message was incredibly healing for me.
For me, choosing courage over comfort means being willing to try again, even when there’s a risk of heartache.
In January, I experienced a miscarriage in my first trimester. It was a devastating blow that left me in a very dark place for a while.
Someone asked me, “Why would you try again? Why risk exposing yourself to that pain if you might miscarry again?”
Sure, choosing not to try again would be the safer option. I wouldn’t have to worry about new, uncontrollable factors entering my life. There would be a sense of certainty. But being safe also keeps me limited to a small range of emotions, much like when I was drinking.
We deserve to feel the full range of human intensity. Cutting myself off from potential negative emotions out of fear also blocks me from experiencing the deepest joys. That kind of limiting safety is something I don’t want.
Here’s the thing: I’m not actively seeking heartache, but I’m not scared of it either. My recovery journey has equipped me with the tools to face anything and trust that I can get through it. My miscarriage in January taught me that recovery doesn’t exempt us from life’s tribulations but transforms our ability to navigate them. I understand that my sobriety owes me nothing—I trust it enough to know it has equipped me with the means to handle life’s challenges without needing to escape.
Not only that, but I am in a place where I trust my body fully. From the time I was a little girl, I was conditioned to put so much energy into trying to transform this body without realizing all it’s capable of and without recognizing its infinite wisdom. This body has gotten me through so many moments I didn’t think I would survive, so I have full faith that she will act accordingly in my journey moving forward. I just have to lean into her, listen to her, respect her, and treat her with care. If my body chooses to carry a pregnancy, I trust her, and if she doesn’t, I trust her, too. She’ll make the big decisions for me, not fear.
What about you? How do you approach choosing courage over comfort in your own life?
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