I recently came across a powerful message from Dr. Nicole LePera (you can follow her on Instagram) that I shared with a group of sober women. Here it is:
Reminder for recovering “good girls:”
- You can stand up for yourself and let someone know you won’t tolerate certain behaviors.
- When someone is rude, you don’t need to laugh it off or pretend it’s okay.
- “I don’t find that funny” lets people know that joke didn’t work for you.
- You’re not too sensitive because you express how you feel.
- If someone doesn’t accept your answer, it’s not a cue to keep explaining. It’s a sign they don’t respect boundaries.
While all these points are important, I want to focus on the first one about standing up for yourself.
At a doctor’s appointment this week, a medical assistant went to take my vitals. I noticed the blood pressure cuff she was using was too small for my arm and mentioned it. She dismissed my concern, saying it was fine. When the reading came back high, I knew something was wrong since my blood pressure has been normal since quitting drinking. I spoke up, insisting by saying, “I need my blood pressure taken with a cuff that fits my arm. That is not my blood pressure. I check it myself in the mornings at home.” After some reluctance, she found a larger cuff and retook my blood pressure, which then showed a normal reading.
This experience reminded me that medical professionals, despite their expertise, are human and can make mistakes, making it crucial to be an active participant in our own care, rather than just a passive recipient.
Before sobriety, I often let others dictate what happened next in our interactions, even if it wasn’t what I wanted. My secret addiction to alcohol made me feel unworthy of defending myself. Convinced that I didn’t deserve protection, whether it was with family, friends, romantic partners, or even in medical settings, I let others’ voices override my own.
Recovery has helped clear the fog that once clouded my mind, allowing me to reconnect with my body and find my voice. Sobriety empowers us to actively participate in our interactions, whether with loved ones, colleagues, or professionals. It helps us listen to and trust ourselves again.
Remember, your voice matters, and you have the right to stand up for yourself.
Reflect: How has standing up for yourself evolved? Is this a strength of yours or is this something you are still working on?
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